A Crowd Gathered Around Him

                 Recently, I facilitated a connect group at my church titled "Not A Fan." It was a group I participated in awhile ago in Montana. And I remember it impacted me so much while I was attending. The book "Not A Fan" is by a Pastor named Kyle Idleman. I've read the book many times. Sometimes reading it very fast and sometimes it takes me a few months just to finish the hundred pages. It is such a good book. The group was about being a follower of Jesus. And tonight that is what I want to write about. 

                   Tonight after going to watch the last part of The Chosen season 5, I came home and completed some cleaning. I was going to just go to bed because it was 11:30 pm by the time I finished that. But The Spirit was not allowing that. "Just one chapter of Matthew." So I was obedient and picked up where I left off. Chapter 13. Chapter 13 starts by Jesus leaving a house and going to sit at the lake. Soon a crowd gathered around Him. He got in a boat and taught them. He began with the parable of the four soils. A farmer planted seeds. Some fell on a footpath and were eaten by birds. Some fell on shallow soil with rocks, and sprouted but died because the root did not grow down. Others fell among thorns which choked them out. But some fell on fertile soil and produced much. After this the disciples asked Him, "Why do you use parables when you talk to the people?" Jesus replied "You are permitted to understand the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven, but the others are not. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them." 

                After reading this, I was thinking, "But these people traveled to see Jesus and listen to His teaching?!?!" So why is He saying this? But then verse 13 goes on to say this, "That is why I use these parables, For they look, but they don't really see. They hear, but they don't really listen or understand." Jesus was quoting the prophet Jeremiah in this sentence. Then Jesus quotes from the prophet Isaiah. "When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend. For the hearts of the people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes-so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot heard, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to me and let me heal them." 

            To me, it seems like these people were hearing the audible words that Jesus was speaking, but they were not listening or understanding. So what is the difference? The only thing that I can think of is heart posture. They were there physically, but their heart was not there with Jesus. It was far from Him. BUT WAIT! Again, THEY WENT THERE TO SEE JESUS. There was obviously a reason for them going there. Maybe that reason was different for each one of them. Maybe some were just going because their friend was there. Maybe some of them thought it would make them look better. Or that they would find answers they were searching for. Maybe some heard all about Jesus and wanted to see what all the hype was about. Or wanted to see a miracle. Better yet receive a miracle. The truth is, I will never know why that crowd of people gathered around Jesus that day. And maybe they did not truly know either. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the human heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, who can understand it?

               Maybe these people had convinced themselves that they were followers of Jesus. Maybe they were convinced that they were understanding when they truly were not. I I know I have been there before. For about seven or eight years. That is a long time to be deceived by your own doing. Remember at the beginning of this when I told you that I attended that 'Not a Fan' group in Montana. That it impacted me so much. Well sad to say, but even with it being such a huge impact, I still did not let go of my life and follow Jesus. I chose to hold on to things that got in the way. Pride, anger, resentment, unforgiveness, lust, fornication. Even things that seemed so small they would not matter, such as certain t.v shows, books, music, friends. I spent a lot of this time gathered around Jesus, without ears to hear, eyes to see, and a heart that understood. I said that I was following Jesus but I was not. I could not see that at the time. 

              Nowadays I can't help but to wonder, if I did know that, was there anything I could have done to surrender faster? I'm not sure about that. Looking back at it, Jesus had to come in and knock down walls. Pride. Ego. Two things I would have never admitted having. I think having gone through this, God would want me to use it to help other people open their eyes. I am by no means a judge, I do not have the authority to say, "Hey, your  heart is not right with the Lord." But out of love and compassion, because I am moving out of that pride and ego (finally), I can tell my neighbor, "Hey brother/sister, I am seeing some fruit that is not good. Or I am not seeing any fruit on your branch." Because Jesus tells us that every branch in him that bears no fruit is taken away. Every branch that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 

                There is a verse that I mention in my blogs a lot, because I love it and use it frequently. Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." Sometimes God searching comes in trails, sometimes it comes it blessing. But if you pray this prayer, you can be sure that He will be faithful to answer it. Prepare yourself, and keep your eyes and ears open, with a heart that is ready. 

                    I do not want to be or anyone else, to be someone who hears, "Depart from me, you workers of lawlessness. I never knew you."

Today ask yourself, do I know Jesus? Do I truly know Him? Or have I just seen Him from time to time? Do I actually spend personal time with Him, or do I just go to church and a group here and there and call it a relationship? 

My prayer for everyone reading this is that we would be able to honestly pray Psalm 139:23-24. That we would be open to hear what the Lord has to tell us. That we would allow Him to search our hearts and stop fearing what He might find. That we would know that He already knows what is there and still loves us. That we would trust Him more than we trust ourselves. That we would truly understand the sacrifice that He made for us so that we could be reconciled to our Heavenly Father. We would have willingness to let go of whatever stands in our way of knowing Him as He so desires us to. That we would begin to bear good fruit. No more being deceived by our own hearts, no more living a lie. Jesus help us come out of it.