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Stuck in this season, because I can't let go

     Do you ever feel like you are just failing in life? Like there is nothing that you can do right? I am going through a season that I have thought was over but apparently it is not. I believe God is ready for me to move onto the next season, but I am keeping myself stuck in this season. A few weeks ago, it felt like I was moving out of it. But here I am. STUCK! 

     Why have I not moved out of this season. I feel like I am sabotaging my entire walk with the LORD and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Maybe that is just it. Maybe I need to stop and just TRUST GOD. I feel like it is much easier said than done. Why is it so hard to trust God? I cannot seem to get out onto the first step, not matter how much I want to. I want to walk with the Lord, in everything that He has ordained for my life. But right now, it feels like I am missing it all. I think as humans we want to see the entire picture...but with God, we can't. If we saw the entire picture, we would not really be trusting Him when we choose to step out, or not to step out. It feels scary, unknown, impossible. 

    I want what I want, and it is so hard to let go of those things. Sometimes it is even hard to let go of the things that I do not want. WHY?? Sometimes I feel like I am alone in this. No matter how much God shows me He is there. Maybe that is my problem. Maybe I need to start acting like The Holy God of Israel is walking with me on this Narrow Path. I need to grab His hand and KNOW that He is here with me. This is not something that I have to do alone.    

    This weekend the Lord call me to a fast. I know He wants me to seek Him. I am trying to keep my distance because of my sin. My struggle to do what He called me to do. Those times when I get so stuck in my flesh, in my own feelings. I am keeping that wall there. I feel like He turns away from me. But His word tells me in 1 John 1:9 If we confess out sins, He is faithful and just and will purify us from all unrighteousness. 

    This weekend, I wanted to get a friend out of town, and myself if I'm being honest, as we were both going through hard time. There were multiple things God showed me, saying do not go. I failed to listen. I told Him, if He let me go that I would do it for His glory. There was nothing I did there that glorified the Lord. It was all fleshly desires, wanting to please my friend and myself. Which it was not really my friend's idea of fun, so maybe it was a selfish thing. Who knows? GOD DOES! God knows the intentions of my heart. I feel like it was me wanting to run away from things that is going on instead of running into the arms of MY LOVING FATHER! Wow, I can say I'm sorry LORD, but that does not even begin to take away the pain I caused. Making God feel like I didn't need Him OR WANT HIM. And making my friend think there was something more here than what it is. 

    Tonight, my prayer is for our compassionate God to mend everything that I did this last weekend. Bring me back to you Father. Show me Your love. Forgive me for my selfishness. Mend my friend from what is harming him. Help him to grow in you so that we can move into different seasons of life. I know You put me in His path for a reason. But now God is it helpful or harmful?? Help me Lord, I need You now.

Comments

  1. BigfootJune 16, 2024 at 6:57 AM

    You are not alone! I struggle with trusting the lord also. It's all fine when it a small problem I'm trusting him with, but the second I move the problem or task into the important categorie I run back to handling it myself. Then it usually gets fumbled or messed up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DesireeJune 16, 2024 at 2:05 PM

      That is very true. I can't do it, but I know God can!

      Delete

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