RAWR!!!!

 Hey there! Glad you stopped by!

I hope that title grabbed your attention. To me it explains everything, but it might need a little explaining for you, so I will do that!

Have you ever felt like you just wanted to scream at the top of your lungs? I have had that feeling 2 times this week and have talked to a couple others that have as well this week. 

The common factor seems to be HURT FEELINGS!!! 

Yes as much as we all hate to admit it, our feelings get hurt. Male, female, strong, weak, brave, whatever. IT HAPPENS!!! Even the biggest, "baddest"man on the planet gets his feelings hurt. Some of us are more sensitive than others, and we all have a different reaction. 

I am grateful to the Lord that my reaction is not the same as it was two years ago, although those thoughts do cross my mind, and I think that is what makes it so hard right now. 

        Earlier this week, I had a situation with my niece. She arrived at my house after school one day and she had already had all of the time of electronics that she was allowed. I simply told her that she could not be on her phone anymore. This made her a little upset. She proceeded to be mean to me and have an attitude with me. I thought at first that maybe I was just taking it too personally, until I notice that it was personal. She was being kind and fun-loving to everyone else that was in the house at the time. I attempted to talk to her about it but she had comments like, "nothing" and "what are you looking at?" 

    Because my feelings were hurt, it wanted to come out as anger. I am used to punching things when I get hurt. That had always just been what I did. AND NO I AM NOT SAYING I PUNCH LITTLE KIDS OR WANT TO. At this point in time, I was cleaning up some art stuff that I got out to see if she would partake with me since she was "bored" which she did not, but that is not the point of this story. Any way, as I was taking this stuff to the kitchen to wash it all out, I felt this HUGE urge to just slam all of this stuff into the sink. 

    Another instance, and this one is not easy for me to admit because of my ego and pride. It makes me a little more vulnerable that I want to be, but here it goes. I found out a friend was in town and didn't even reach out to me. Which seems to be an on going thing. There is honestly some jealousy about her and my sister. As they are always hanging out and it seems they never want to invite me. I get it though. They have a lot more in common. It hurts. It hurts bad.

    Of course, those feeling of being hurt make me what to do something stupid. Like, "I am going to just leave and never talk to them again. I am going to call and tell them." I even had to question why I was writing this out today. 

    The reason why I am writing this is because of what I experienced during these times with God. In this moments where I was having these evil, godless thoughts, the Holy Spirit was shining through. I could actually feel the Spirit warring with my flesh. Not that it was much of a war because I chose to yield to the Spirit. I chose to put a smile on my face, be a kind human, have a good cry, and go somewhere alone and talk to God. 

Galatians 5:16-21 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusted against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh:and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit,, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these, Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 

    When I am in tears, it can be hard to find a silver lining. God always reminds me that I need to be joyful in trials. Once He reminds me this. I ask Him what He  wants me to learn from these things, or what He is doing in me. Sometimes, it is to just get me to be real with Him and talk to Him, for me to stop pretending that everything is just picture perfect. Sometimes, it is to close me off from certain people that I am not meant to be around. Sometimes it is to teach me, or strengthen me. No matter what it is, there is always something like that there! And I am grateful for it. He is such a good good Father. 

Romans 5:3-4 Not only that, but we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. 

    I am finding that God is always doing something, we just need to keep our eyes on Him to see it. 

My prayer for us is that we would walk by the Spirit and not take it for granted. Lord, may you please help your church to yield to you instead of the flesh. May we die daily to all of those old ways of responding and learn to be more like You. Help us to live with you fruit so others may see it and Glorify You.